A Defending Crusader…

The best defense is to be good and offensive…or something like that.

Letter from an American Wife (of a Muslim)

Posted by Godefroi on May 7, 2008

Nod: Islam Watch

It is true Muslims do beat their wives, if not with their hand, its with there strict ways and controlling habits.

I know for a fact that it is true because I am a young American woman and I am married to a Muslim man. I have two kids from the past that is not his but he loves them as if they were his. But the problem is that we have no life.

Ever since we got married, he is very controlling. In 5 years, he has hit me 4 times.

Once we have got married, everything changed. I no longer have a car because he thinks I do not need one. I am not allowed to work. He dose not won’t me to have anything to do with my family, see them or phone them unless it is my mother.

Me and my kids stay in the house all the time. We never get to go any where unless it is to shop for food at the store.

He is very strict. He checks my phone call records to make sure that I am not taking to anyone that I am not suppose to be talking to.

He tells me when to cook, when to wash, when to sleep, and what to wear. I have to wear long skirts. I am not allowed to wear pants.

My husband works 15 hours a day, while me and the kids are stuck in the house because he demands I must obey him. I am not allowed to have any friends.

No matter what I say or do he never trusts me. And I am below him. No matter what I say it is not important; no matter what I need, it is not Important to him. But everything he need or wants he gets and everything must be about him.

I am a good American women. His food is cooked everyday when he gets home, the house is cleaned very well everyday. I am a good house wife and I obey his every command.

I am crying as I write this e-mail because I am being abused by strictness and there is nothing I feel that I can do because I no longer have a job to support my kids. I have no family that will take me and my kids in if I leave.

I have no car. Before marriage, I had a job, I had a car and I supported my kids. He has taken everything away from me including my self-confidence.

I feel useless to myself and my kids. I have no outside life, friends, family, support, or help. I am always depressed and crying, never happy always sad.

Before I was a person who always smiled; no matter what, I could over come it. I was a happy person and loving no matter what. I’m still loving; I will help anyone, give them my last penny and the shirt off my back. I have a good heart and I am a good wife. I do not drink, club or ever done drugs because I came from a good family. He has taken everything from me and still demands more, I have nothing more to give and I feel so sad and useless because I can’t help myself.

I cry day and night asking god why me. I am a good person what have I done to be punished like this. All I want to do is take my kids to the park, out to eat, to the beach, have family, friends or just some one to make me feel like I am needed other than cooking and cleaning.

Can some one please help me. I am to young for this and the outside world is passing by while me and my kids life is inside the house only. I am drowning in my own tears with no way out and I can’t take it anymore. I want my kids to have a life while they are young.

Any feminist who supports this “religion” is a fraud.


6 Responses to “Letter from an American Wife (of a Muslim)”

  1. sunita said

    hey, i read your entire blog. first of all do not insult islam by saying this is what muslims do. YOUR HUSBAND is inse cure. his religion does not state that you mustnt have a car, ctrl your wife, lock up the family in the house all the time, beat up your wife, alllll of thAT IS UTTER FOOLISHNESS AND YOUR HUSBAND IS A FOOLISH MAN. i think your husband NEEDS SOME ISLAM IN HIS life, to be a proper husband.

    the facet that he doesnt trust you and treats you like you are below him is absolutely disgusting and UN-ISLAMIC. if i met your husband who claimed to be a muslim id spit on him because its people like him who taint our faith.

    islam does not take away a womans freedom to socialize with her family and friends. UGHHhhhhhhhhh i wish i knew the write words to describe my feelings right now. its really one of disgust. you need a real man in your life. if you want to work, get a job. if you want to visit your friedns and family go right ahead and he this insucre son of $%^&*()_ has a problem with it tell him to F%^&*( offf and leave it sorry #$%^&*()………..

    no matter how much he claims to love you, let him prove it, but not being so controlling jealous and COWARDLY!

    women in islam are to be empowered, we tun businesses, rule populous democracies, e.g benazhir bhutto… we are not kept down because of a stupid, idiot that calls himself a man. your husband is a PUSSY.


  2. RADHA said


    hey I agree with my friend above, your husband is a disgusting, insecure waste of a man. he has psychological issues that need to be dealt with before he drives you mad.

    it almost seems as a hopeless situation. you need your independence and your freedom. even if it means taking your children and leaving this asshole.

    Please do not blame islam for what he has dome to you. but blame him for being a cowardly asshole. he wants to feel power. perhaps he was deprived as a child or never had a lot of gf’s growing up. im sure he lies to you alot and you dont even realise it.

  3. Godefroi said

    OK…in case either of you stops back:

    I did not write this letter, I copied it. It was sent to the editors of a website run by former Muslims.

    While I agree that the husband in this instance is a monster, not a MAN, and I applaud your positions that his behavior contradicts the tenets of your faith, it is an unfortunate fact that many of your co-religionists would disagree with all three of us.

    For example, as far as him not letting her leave the house, Allah commanded to the women:

    وَقَرْنَ فِى بُيُوتِكُنَّ

    …stay in your houses (33:33), as ibn Kathir explains: stay in your houses and do not come out except for a purpose. It’s easy to see how a man could interpret this in such a way as to prevent his wife from leaving the house.

    If you feel that this behavior insults you, women, or Islam, you should focus your attention on finding and reeducating men like the one in the letter (and the government of Saudi Arabia while you’re at it), rather than on trying to convince me.


  4. RADHA said

    i was trying to convince the author of the letter first of all..
    and secondly, your point is well taken, peace!

  5. samad said

    you can visit my website and contact me for advice on how to deal with situations like this. it is absolutely an unfortunate one. I hope this women can learn to liberate herself before tis too late

  6. Godefroi said

    Radha – Peace also to you.

    Samad – I hope so too.


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